films seen
5
average score
1.40*
nationality
status
Alive and kicking

Movies


Bedtime Stories

2008 / 99m - USA
Comedy, Fantasy
2.5*/5.0*
Bedtime Stories poster

Disenchanted

2022 / 121m - USA
Adventure, Fantasy
1.5*/5.0*
Disenchanted poster

A good 15 years after the first film, we get a sequel. Disenchanted brings another contemporary update of classic Disney, which is good news for fans of classic Disney, not so good news for the rest of the world. I understand this film is supposed to be the ultimate cheese and saccharine Disney pastiche, but even then I think they could've done it a lot better.

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The music and songs are way too much for me, Adams' performance is more than a little grating and the Disney polish makes everything way too bland and safe. The production values are there though and the mix between live-action and animation has potential, I'm just not the audience for this type of film.

Hairspray

2007 / 117m - USA
Musical, Comedy
1.5*/5.0*
Hairspray poster

Cheesy and kitsch, but during the first half of the film, done in a (relatively) good way. The casting is pretty ingenious (Travolta and Walken are perfect) and the silliness of the setup, coupled with the over-the-top presentation, makes for easy watching. It's a shame the film can't quite keep it up.

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The songs aren't great, but that was to be expected. I had a bigger problem with the more serious tone during the second half. Also, the runtime could've been a little shorter, by the end I was fully done with the music. Still, I had expected worse from this one, not the worst Broadway musical adaptation I've seen.


Rock of Ages

2012 / 123m - USA
Comedy, Musical
1.0*/5.0*
Rock of Ages poster

The Pacifier

2005 / 95m - USA
Action, Comedy
0.5*/5.0*
The Pacifier poster

No idea who talked Vin Diesel into doing this film, probably (and hopefully) Disney offered him a bucket load of money for this part because this was absolute trash. While I realize I'm not at all the target audience for this kind of film, I do hope general standards for kids films are a bit higher than this.

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It seems all brawny men must at least make one of these, The Pacifier fits right in with Johnson's Tooth Fairy or Schwarzenegger's Kindergarten Cop. Diesel is a Seal who needs to babysit a bunch of kids for an undercover assignment. He's not babysitter material and the kids aren't really taking to him either. Supposed hilarity ensues.

This is meant to be a comedy with some action/adventure bits thrown in for good measure, the problem is that the film is never funny, while the action is really childish and subpar. Somehow it made a lot of money at the box office, so I'm sure there's an audience for this, but it sure it ain't me. Ugh.